The family is the foundational institution of society ordained by God. It is constituted by marriage and is composed of persons related to one another by marriage, blood or adoption.
When we consider the biblical narrative, we see many family relationships that were broken by sin.
Adam and Eve sinned, and Adam responded by blaming his wife. They parented two male children, and one of the sons killed the other.
Abraham, God’s chosen man, married two wives, breaking God’s design, and he eventually kicked one wife and her child out of the house.
Jacob married several wives like his grandfather. His twelve sons eventually sold their younger brother into slavery.
David too espoused many wives and his son raped his sister. Then the daughter’s brother, Absalom, killed the son that raped her.
Today’s story is no different; sin still destroys family relationships, and therefore we don’t have great models of God’s design.
So then what is God’s design for family, and how can we have the relationships God meant us to have? Are the relationships I have with my family a proper reflection of my heavenly standing in Christ?
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged." -Colossians 3:18-21
The Wife’s Responsibility To Her Husband
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord."
The wife must submit to her husband because this is fitting or appropriate for her position in Christ. Submission does not imply that the wife is less than the husband, for Scripture clearly proclaims the equality of all in Christ. Galatians 3:28 says There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
The Husband’s Responsibility To His Wife
"Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them."
Paul says to the husbands that they should love their wives. Ephesians describes what the husband’s love should look like. He is called to love like Christ. "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church" -Ephesians 5:28-29
The Children’s Responsibility To Their Parents
"Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord."
This word “children” does not refer to any particular age group. It refers to any child still living in the home and under parental guidance.5 If they are still living at home or still being provided for by the parents, then this word would fit them. Paul says that children disobeying parents marks a world where people deny God. (Romans 1:28-30)
The importance of obedience to parents is seen by it being in the Ten Commandments. It says, "Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee." -Ex. 20:12
The importance of this commandment is also seen in the drastic consequences promised to those who broke it. Since obedience to parents was the foundation to all authority, the slightest disobedience was strictly punished. "And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death." -Ex. 21:17 (Lev. 20:9,Prov. 30:17)
The Parent’s Responsibility To Their Children
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
In still addressing the child/parent relationship, Paul speaks to fathers and commands them to not provoke their children lest they become disheartened.
The word “provoke” can also be translated “embitter". This is not simply referring to a child getting angry, for this is inevitable. It has to do with a deep–rooted, settled anger that stays in these children and affects their persons for the rest of their lives.
In conclusion:
It should be noted that the wife’s response has nothing to do with whether she has a good husband or not. Her actions must be based on her relationship with Christ (Col. 3:1). In the same way a husband must love his wife even if she does not submit to him. The child must obey in everything regardless of whether he or she has good parents or not.
Oftentimes, our responses are based on what other people do to us instead of our relationship to Christ. We cannot control others, but we can control our faithfulness to Christ as we seek to walk in God’s original design for the family.
If the home is broken, then you can be sure the education system is broken, and the government is broken since the home is the foundation of society.
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